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Posts Tagged ‘Stache’

Hockey ‘Staches vs Pi Beards

Every year, my boyfriend/English-tutor-extraordinaire – Ben Taylor – butchers his facial hair in the name of hockey. As captain of Steamwhistle’s hockey team, he takes the hockey ‘stache tradition very seriously;  fellow teammates who don’t participate in the growing and grooming of said ‘stache totally get made fun of. Mercilessly. As Ben explains,

“We started this tradition 4 years ago for the Copper Kettle Cup. It was a way for us to do something as a team that would show unity, be intimidating, and bring some confidence and luck.”

Steamwhistle 'Stache Attack: The boys take on the Copper Kettle Cup - aka The Stanley Cup of beer company hockey!

Apparently the hockey moustache is a source of luck and unity, as well as a means of intimidating the other team (who isn’t scared of a sweaty dude with a dirty moustache?!). Ben tells me that the hockey ‘stache is totally a legit phenomenon, which I  obviously didn’t believe – until Google proved me wrong – and him right. HATE when that happens. There actually exists a gallery of the top ten hockey mustaches of all time – for real. In fact, the Leaf’s very own Mike Brown has a SUPER stellar moustache – guaranteed to make the rookie ‘stache grower green with envy. Even better, Yahoo claims that hockey ‘staches are actually the reason why certain games are won! Like, seriously – is that a scientific FACT? Whatever, I guess if the INTERNET claims it’s true, it MUST be true right? In fact, Yahoo claims – and I quote:

“Can the power of the hockey mustache ever be denied? From George Parros to Lanny McDonald to Rogie Vachon to the fake mustache worn by Snoop Dogg that Karl Alzner keeps for good luck, it is a facial adornment of mysticism and wonder. Fact is that there are players currently in the NHL who deny themselves this karmic gift, despite being hormonally primed for a mustache of “Magnum P.I.” proportions.”

True say. Can’t make that stuff up.

Okay enough about dirty ‘staches. Moving on. This year, as Ben was getting pumped and ready to start carving out his epic work of art, I got a GENIUS idea. And that is ALL I am going to say, because as the old adage goes, pictures (especially THESE ones), are worth a THOUSAND words. Oh ya.


Best English tutor ever. Just LOOK at that FACE!

Let’s just take a closer look at that absolute MASTERPIECE…!

And Finally…

I TRIED to convince Ben that a hockey-math-face was JUST as intimidating as a hockey-’stache, buuuttttt….he didn’t quite buy it. So, 3.14 minutes after that last photo was taken, Ben’s mathematically-crafted facial hair was turned into a facial-lip-broom. So poetic. Sigh.

For the record, I think that this post officially qualifies math as a SPORT. Just sayin’. Go get em tiger!